A year has passed in what feels like the blink of an eye.
Looking back, I have difficulty grasping the truth of the fact that the wheel has turned fully since Dad passed away, last year. I know now that even though I have lived, grown, changed, done, made, achieved a year, I haven't really experienced it. Not fully; not with my eyes open; not in the moment; not with my 'real' self.
Instead I have walked through the days as my 'shadow self' - the part of me that is waking and breathing. The other part of me - the part which really feels - has hidden itself away inside, protecting itself until it knows it is safe to come out again.
As each day passes I think it awakes a little more. Today, exactly a year since Dad died, I have been able to process these thoughts and put them into some semblance of syntactical sense: that is a start.
linkwithin_text='From the same cauldron...'
2 musings:
Aww hunnie. I totally understand this idea of a 'shadow' self... I was exactly the same when my Dad passed away. But you've managed it... got through the year... even if its been a half-life, auto-pilot sort of thing... that takes real courage and determination.
And your 'real' self, she is safe... still beautiful, still so very precious and special. You see her and acknowledge her presence... she is healing and growing strong once again... she just needs time which your 'shadow self' has given her.... what an awesome partnership!
Huge hugs xxx
It takes time to heal and you will in your own good time untill then be kind on yourself x x x
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